xen0blue
20 February 2009, 05:25 AM
I'm trying to write a short piece on the history of dallas. Let me know what you think and feel free to elaborate and expand on it!:
Dallas: A factual history
In the 1840s, a lawyer from Tennessee named John Neely Bryan set out to find a good place to strike it rich by selling such essentials as toiletries, rations, and miniaturized busts of Leonardo Davinci made out of toothpicks to the local Indian tribes. One day, when trying to find a way to cross the Trinity River, he came upon a small patch of land located on a natural ford, downstream from an Indian sewage processing facility. He decided to settle there and named it Dallas. A few months later, the Indians found out that he had settled on their land and confronted him about it. In order to keep the land, Bryan offered them a roll of toilet paper, a piece of pocket lent, and couple of fish bones which he used to pick his teeth. Initially, the Indians were hesitant about Bryan’s offer but he was able to sweeten the deal with a small boat carved out of a carrot and they were sold.
I just a few years, Dallas went from a population of 1 to a population of 500 and it was decided Dallas needed a police force to keep the peace in the new city and protect the citizens from being harassed by roaming packs of sea lions which would constantly beg the townsfolk for change during the day. They found it easy to control crime but not so much to stop the sea lions from soliciting money. So, seeing as sea lions have no pockets to keep the money in and don’t understand the concept of exchanging currency, they turned a blind eye to it and eventually embraced the behavior. Even today, if you walk through downtown Dallas you will still see people coming up to you to celebrate the sea lions’ contribution to Dallas culture with cries of “SIR, CAN I HAVE SOME CHANGE, PLEASE?”.
Dallas: A factual history
In the 1840s, a lawyer from Tennessee named John Neely Bryan set out to find a good place to strike it rich by selling such essentials as toiletries, rations, and miniaturized busts of Leonardo Davinci made out of toothpicks to the local Indian tribes. One day, when trying to find a way to cross the Trinity River, he came upon a small patch of land located on a natural ford, downstream from an Indian sewage processing facility. He decided to settle there and named it Dallas. A few months later, the Indians found out that he had settled on their land and confronted him about it. In order to keep the land, Bryan offered them a roll of toilet paper, a piece of pocket lent, and couple of fish bones which he used to pick his teeth. Initially, the Indians were hesitant about Bryan’s offer but he was able to sweeten the deal with a small boat carved out of a carrot and they were sold.
I just a few years, Dallas went from a population of 1 to a population of 500 and it was decided Dallas needed a police force to keep the peace in the new city and protect the citizens from being harassed by roaming packs of sea lions which would constantly beg the townsfolk for change during the day. They found it easy to control crime but not so much to stop the sea lions from soliciting money. So, seeing as sea lions have no pockets to keep the money in and don’t understand the concept of exchanging currency, they turned a blind eye to it and eventually embraced the behavior. Even today, if you walk through downtown Dallas you will still see people coming up to you to celebrate the sea lions’ contribution to Dallas culture with cries of “SIR, CAN I HAVE SOME CHANGE, PLEASE?”.