joke thread

[oak cliff p-wood]

we need a joke thread
imma start it
why couldnt g-unit get on the bus?









cuz they only had 50 cent

[tamtagon]

Bacon and Eggs ordered a drink at the bar. The bartender said, "Sorry, we dont serve breakfast."

[Mballar]

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . It was dead!

[RadicalBender]

There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Hey, is it just me or is it getting hot in here?" Then the other muffin turns and says, "OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

[Boredkid]

Why did the gay guy get fired from the sperm bank...

He got caught drinking on the job...

[gc]

wow

[Cole]

Why did the gay guy get fired from the sperm bank...

He got caught drinking on the job...

Wow, is right!!!

[CityLove]

To bring the mood back...

"Knock KnocK"

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting Cow"

"Interrupting C..." "MOO"

[oak cliff p-wood]

what does maryln quayle say to dan after sex



"you sir, are no jack kennedy"

[Columbus Civil]

There was a king on a tropical island who lived in a grand two-story house built of grass and other local vegetation. On the anniversary of his accession, his loyal subjects gave him a splendid new throne. The king, however, being the sentimental sort, couldn't bear to part with the throne he'd sat on for so many years. He had his servants move it on the second floor. Not long after, as the king was sitting on his new, splendid throne, a violent storm arose, and the old throne came crashing down, killing the king.

The moral of the story is "THOSE WHO LIVE IN GRASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T STOW THRONES."

[Columbus Civil]

My favorite Aggie Joke:

There was an Aggie that was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
The Aggie wrote a note saying "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Aggie."
The Aggie then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Aggie checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Aggie opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, "How could one Aggie do this to another Aggie?"

[Columbus Civil]

bwahaha here's another one:

What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

[hookbilledkite]

Why did the chicken cross the road?





Because Arlington has no mass transit, so he had to walk.

[Boredkid]

Wow, is right!!!


???

[oak cliff p-wood]

a white house aid told GW Bush that 3 Brazilian troops were killed in a helicopter crash in the atlantic, dubya responded with an outpouring of grief, much to the confusion of his aides...then he lifted his head out of his hands and asked "how much is a brazilian again?"

[gc]

a white house aid told GW Bush that 3 Brazilian troops were killed in a helicopter crash in the atlantic, dubya responded with an outpouring of grief, much to the confusion of his aides...then he lifted his head out of his hands and asked "how much is a brazilian again?"


friggin funny

[Texan#1]

Why did the gay guy get fired from the sperm bank...

He got caught drinking on the job...
it took me a while to figure this one out but it is funny

[Mballar]

This joke works with any president.

Why does Laura Bush always have to get on top?

. . . . . .because GW can only screw up!!!

[oak cliff p-wood]

whats the difference between vietnam and iraq?
bush had a plan to avoid nam

[CityLove]

a white house aid told GW Bush that 3 Brazilian troops were killed in a helicopter crash in the atlantic, dubya responded with an outpouring of grief, much to the confusion of his aides...then he lifted his head out of his hands and asked "how much is a brazilian again?"

I like this one. I may have to try to learn it so I can retell it (I'm horrible at remembering and telling jokes).

[Cole]

???

Oh nothing buddy, I was laughing hard.